Blink of an eye

I was at work pretty early yesterday morning. I went about my morning like I normally do… checked email, grab some breakfast and planned out my to do’s. As I was walking back to my desk from grabbing some breakfast,I heard someone crying hysterically while talking on their phone. I walked over to make sure they were OK, only to find out that she just received the news that her daughter was dead. She was 18 months old. Apparently she passed away during the night. Daddy was on daycare duty so Mom decided to go into work early and didn’t check on the little one. I just stood there, in shock, feeling an overload of emotions but could not formulate the right words. Thankfully another co-worker was around and was able to go get her car to drive her home while I stood with the Mom trying my best to console her. I feel like I failed miserably. I ushered her into the car and closed the door sending her off knowing her life will NEVER be the same. I can’t even imagine the pain she must feel and will continue to feel for a lifetime. Though I am not a parent myself, losing a child is something you never get over but yet life is somehow supposed to continue on. It doesn’t seem fair. It’s was a pretty quiet and somber day at work. People were walking around with empty looks on their faces. My work family is an extension of my life. When somebody hurts, we all hurt. It seems too often there are wake up calls like this one. Days when it hits you like a pile of bricks and makes you realize just how lucky and blessed you are but yet I/we take it for granted. My only hope and prayer is nothing tragic ever happens to anyone close to me or my family. Life is too short and precious. I hugged my Man extra tight last night and said many prayers for my loved ones including my co worker whose life has changed in a blink of an eye.

So Fresh, So Clean

My hired cleaning help took on the very daunting task of cleaning Rob's bachelor pad yesterday. I gave her a very lenghty list of to do's and I wasn't sure if she would be able to get to it all. All day I was eager and also nervous to see the outcome. I went to check everything out after work and I was SO happy with her work. I walked in and the place looked and smelled AMAZING. A night and day transformation. 100% worth the investment. I could tell Rob didn't want to admit the place looked as good as it did but deep inside I know he appreciated the fact that I did this and his place, for the first time ever, is TRULY clean. Fingers crossed it stays this way going forward and I am able to maintain the cleanliness. I move the last of my things this evening. It's a bittersweet feeling. I've been on my own and taking care of myself for a long time and now I am entering a new chapter where it's no longer just me. I'm confident that Rob and I are making the right decision. We both admit that we are scared but also excited. I think it's perfectly normal and human to feel both emotions simultaneously.

10 months

Today is the 10th. 10 months ago today, I met Robert. To some, celebrating monthly anniversaries is silly... to me it's special as I never imagined I'd ever reach this point, with anyone. I love him. He loves me. It's that simple but even in that simplicity I get scared that tomorrow it could all fall apart. For now, I hold onto the truth that our love and relationship is strong and tomorrow will be what it will be.

House into a Home

My life consists of packing, purging, donating, and organizing for two. I’m ready for it to be done. I’m ready to live in my new home, with my guy. I decided to hire a cleaning lady to do a deep clean of Rob’s place. His idea of clean and my idea of clean are two WAY different cleans. I could of easily done the cleaning myself but I already am required to do a deep clean of my apartment before I vacate and the idea of having to do that twice, was overwhelming and exhausting. I am confident that hiring a cleaning lady will be well worth the investment. One of the many things I am looking forward to by living with Rob is turning his/our house into a home. In typical guy fashion, he has the necessities: Large TV, Leather Man couch, Microwave, and a bed. His walls are bare and are screaming “Make me pretty!!” I’m excited to get my finger prints on things and decorate. Thankfully a lot of my Décor will work in his place and he has agreed to let me “Do my thing.” He has a really nice place, it just needs a woman’s touch and I’ve been told I do that well. I should probably take some before and after pictures. Most of my family and friends know of the big move in. Everyone has been supportive and excited for us. There are a few that still don’t know and I’m nervous of the outcome of them hearing the news. I’m done stressing about what others will think and judgment/opinions they may caste our way. Bottom line is this was OUR decision that we made together. We love and are committed to one another. We are happy and that’s all that matters.

Next Chapter

Rob and I reached 9 months of dating this past weekend. I have to pinch myself because I never imagined I could be this happy. I never imagined I'd find someone who loves me, all of me, completely. I'm so thankful he is in my life and I am excited to see where things lead.

I have some exciting news to share but have been reluctant to share as I know some of my followers may not necessarily share in my excitement for moral reasons. With that said, Robert and I have decided to live together. My lease is up the end of September and instead of signing a new one, we have made the decision for me to move in with him. It's exciting but also terrifying. It's a big step, deeper commitment to one another, and all around just nerve wracking. Things will either work out, or they wont. He is worth that chance, and says I am too. My family is extremely supportive and excited for us. Rob doesn't have a relationship with his family so is thankful my family has accepted him and are supportive of him/us in this big step.

Rob and I have talked about what this means for us as a couple and where things are heading. There has been talks about the future. We both said that neither of us would have made this step unless we saw a future together long term. Even so, we both have things we want to work on as individuals before we commit to forever. Rob needs to finish school and eventually become a Police Officer. I would like to pay off unnecessary debt and actually start a savings account. Each of our goals are 100% attainable and we feel that by living together can only help out one another more. We love each other. We are committed to one another and our relationship. We are excited to be taking this step together and are thankful we have found each other.