It seems that every so often I seem to get myself in a funk where I tend to sit at home and feel sorry for myself. Last night was no exception either. I had just turned off my nightlight and I lay in bed thinking to myself "I'm alone... I am 27 and alone... what if I'm always alone... what if I grow old alone... what if I die alone..." You see the pattern. There are days when I feel pretty kick ass and proud of the fact that I am doing this whole grown up thing by myself. I am completely on my own and there is something to be said about that... but then the reality checks in and I realize that I AM DOING THIS COMPLETELY ON MY OWN and that scares me.
If someone where to ask me "Jess, are you happy?" my response would be "Yes." And I wouldn't be lying. I am "Happy" but I just feel like something is missing. I honestly thought I would be married with a kid by this point in my life and I am no where near any of those things. All I really want right now is to be wanted, needed, cherished, appreciated, loved, adored forever and ever, till death do us part etc... I hate the fact that I go to bed alone and wake up alone. It's lonely knowing that you have only yourself to take care of when everything in your heart longs for so much more.
I feel like I bring this up all too often in my blogs and I don't want to come across as a needy, emotional, desperate for love type of girl because I don't think I am THAT girl. I just want what everyone else wants when it comes to life and love... all we ever truly want, is to be wanted.
2 comments:
I like your honesty. Remember that you know what you want, and people who want something and are go-getters like you, will get it. I wish I knew when Mr. Handsome will come into your life.
I like the way Jessie said it...you know what you want so you'll get it someday. It just sucks that it is taking so damn long. Sorry that all my single guy friends are D-bags. :)
Post a Comment