Dear my very few blog readers,
I am writing you in an attempt to get some advice, help, and also to just write what’s been on my mind and heart the past few months. I feel like a pathetic teenage girl who is obsessing over a stupid boy who is not worth her time, energy, and more importantly her tears. I have good days, but lately the bad days seem to be more frequent. Why do I miss someone who was so rotten to me for so many years? Why do I love someone who has deemed himself not worthy by his moral actions and decisions? It’s a hurt that can’t seem to go away no matter how hard I try to dismiss it.
Everyone has had their hearts broken before so my question to you is how did you handle it? How did you get over it? It’s easy for people to say “Just keep busy to distract yourself.” Believe me, I AM busy! Extremely busy. I’ve done everything I can do to cut him out of my life. I’ve deleted his number, tossed pictures, thrown cards, emails and letters, and last but not least, de-friended him on Facebook, yet the thought of him and what he meant to me and the lack of what I meant to him creeps in everyday. I really struggle with this and I want so badly for the pain to just go away. I’m trying to process everything but instead of moving on with my life, I feel like I am stuck with the pieces of what’s left of my heart. How do I deal and even more so, how do I heal? Why do so many of life’s lessons have to come at the cost of a broken heart?
Please help… I’m willing to hear it. The good, the bad, the ugly. I need tough love so feel free to smack me across the face with the truth and or just flat out shake me until I am set straight.
Sincerely,
Desperately seeking peace in my heart… Jess
2 comments:
I don't know Jess. I think you just need to keep doing what you are doing which sounds all like good things to do. Keep being strong. Surround yourself with good supportive people and be sure to get out and have a good time with people who make you feel great and do things that you really enjoy. Be good to yourself.
Being busy is good because it makes the time go by. And you wake up one day and realize that even though your heart is still achey you have all this positive stuff in your life because you have been busy creating it. And you just know..that one day you will wake up and be able to just enjoy it without the achey heart. But I'm afraid the only thing that will make it go away completely is waiting it out.
The only other advice I will give you is to try and think about what it was that you needed from this person so dearly. Was it feeling loved, feeling seen or maybe he tapped into your self worth? Ask your self hard questions about what it was you got from him. And then try to find other ways in your life to get it.
Hugs!
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