Good With The Bad and a Side of Hope.

I had a date on Friday and it was fantastic. Butterflies. I can’t seem to stop thinking about him. I feel like I’m 16 again. I blush when I talk to him, and I get giddy when I see a text come through or a phone call. I’m trying so hard to be the cool, calm and collected Jess but deep down inside I am bursting with excitement. I’m focusing on staying in the moment. Enjoying TODAY and not worrying about what tomorrow will bring. He’s a great guy and I am excited to see what happens. TO BE CONTINUED…

In the midst of my lovey dovey state of mind, an unfortunate thing happened to me. Someone got a hold of my debit card numbers and attempted to spend $800 at a Pharmacy down in Brazil. This makes me incredibly sad. 1. That someone would steal from me. I feel so violated. 2. That they decided to spend the money on drugs. We live in a world where people don’t have to work, they can just steal. Steal money, steal identities, steal lives. Greed is an evil evil thing. I am not responsible for the fraudulent charges, but it will be a pain in the butt to get control of my finances again. 7-10 days until my new card arrives which is a big bummer seeing as I use my debit card EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I hate the fact that I need to use my credit card until then, especially since I have been working so hard to pay them off. Oh well, that’s life right? I am thankful that this was the only thing that happened. It could’ve been a lot worse still makes you lose some hope in humanity.

Things are still a stand still with my Condo. I stopped getting excited over anything because as soon as I did, something bad would happen. I feel so bad as my realtor (and also close friend) has been dealing not only the annoying bank but with me. I try so hard not to be crabby towards her but I’m sure it rubs off. I just want this whole situation to be completely behind me so I can move on with my life. There are so many great and wonderful things happening, this is the one thing that is holding me back. I want to slam this chapter closed and never look back. I guess I am one day closer to that point, but it still seems so far away. I’m ready to be at that closing table. I’m ready to hand over my keys. Patience is running thin. Please pray for some more or better yet, a resolution.

Started my job a few weeks ago, and I have been officially on my own with my new Boss as of yesterday. So far, it’s going pretty good. I’m not concerned about the actual job, I am more concerned and nervous about the relationship I have and will have with my new Boss. He’s a complete opposite of Susan. I know with time, it will get easier but for now, I will continue to tip toe around to ensure I don’t fall through the ice.

Despite continued stress that lingers around my world, I am beginning to feel my inner self smile again. I’ve had 3 sessions with my counselor and all of them have been great. I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m not that screwed up as I thought I was. If anything, I am very self aware and my feelings and emotions are valid. I’m learning to work through the difficult things and let them go, focus just on me, today, right now. It’s freeing. I’m in a good place, a new beginning in a lot of senses. It’s exciting and scary at the same time but most of all, it’s filled with hope. I will never lose hope in myself, in others, or in this world. We are all here for a reason and its our responsibility to make our lives the best lives they can be.