Staying Safe

I just posted this comment on one of my favorite blogs and realized I should probably post it on my blog to document where I'm at today and what I am feeling:

"For a majority of my short 30 years of life, I feel like I'm in a constant state of wait. Waiting for things to pan out, waiting for doors to open. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting because I'm too afraid to make the first step myself. If I wanted to be completely honest with myself, I'm waiting my life away and not living it. My prayer lately is that God place a fire under my tush and deep in my heart and soul and that I find what TRULY makes me alive. Living my dream. Living my passion. Still trying to figure out what that is exactly. I'm a work in progress. We all are."

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I feel like I should know what that is by now, but I don't. I've always lived my life on the safe side. Doing what is expected of me. Staying within my comfort zone. Trying my best to make others happy and proud but never really doing anything that pushes me to be better. The older I get, the more relaxed I'm becoming. I find myself worrying less about things I can't control such as the future but I still lack the feeling of purpose in my life. I have big hopes and dreams of what my life COULD be like if I took a chance but still I stay comfortable in my little corner. I am settling for safe and easy life because I am too afraid to try something different and fail.  I need to figure out a way to overcome this. Life is too short not to.