A new year, a new beginning, a new chapter I am so ready and eager to open. Usually the fear of the unknown paralyzes me, however I have never been more excited for a New Year than I am for this one.
Here are some things I plan to work on in the coming year and also some things I am looking forward to:
Attending Church More: I don't think you necessarily need to go to Church every Sunday to be considered a "Good Christian" but this is something that I have been lacking in my life. I will fully admit that I have turned my back on God, especially in the past 5 years and then I wonder why my life seems to be disarray 90% of the time?! Shame on me. I've been listening to that little voice inside my heart and have started attending Church again and reading scripture. Funny how God never turns His back on you and even when we turn away from Him. He remains the same and welcomes you back with open arms. I'm not going to say that I'm completely healed from all the pains in my life. In fact, right now I still feel so icky. I am broken in more ways than one but I have complete faith that soon I will be back to the Miss Jess that everyone loves and more importantly, the Jess that people WANT to be around. I don't even like my own company and can't imagine my friends and loved ones enjoy it either. It feels good to have this part of my life back but still feel like a fish out of water. I'm trying to find some air along with finding my way, again. I plan to continue to attend Church and seek out other Churches close by and hopefully find my perfect home and become a member.
Volunteer: Not because I need to, but because I want to. Animals have always been important part of my life. As painful as it will be to volunteer at the Humane Society, I think it's important for me to give my time, love, and attention to animals who desperately need it. Just pray that I don't end up going home with 10 cats and 10 dogs. Sigh. Have I mentioned that my absolute dream is to open up a Pet Rescue/Pet Daycare?! Winning a multi million dollar Powerball would be so helpful in accomplishing that dream! I guess in order to win, I should play. I can think of better things to spend my money on than the Powerball.
I turn the big 3-0 in June!! I think I may be the only one in my group of friends who is actually looking forward to this milestone. I'm so ready to bid farewell to my 20's. Though there were some good times, it was mostly filled with painful growing pains and many difficult lessons learned. I can honestly say that there isn't anything in the last decade that makes me say "Man, that was awesome... can I do that again?!" Nope. Not even a little bit. I don't think I am bitter or jaded because of it either. I like to say that I'm "seasoned" when it comes to life. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I think I can say I've done a good job kicking butt when life has knocked me down. Here's hoping that the next decade will bring bigger, better, and brighter things! I think I'm overdue, no?
Another vacation? I sure hope so. I have a friend who lives in Hawaii and have been contemplating going and visiting her. Airfare is insane so I'm hoping that it will go down to a reasonable price and I will book. I have a sneaking suspicion that once I am there, I wont want to leave. I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if I just stayed there forever now, would it? Nope. I don't think so either.
Take a Creative Writing Class: I love to write. To me it's therapy. I have so many thoughts about many things in life and feel safe to say those things, here. I would love to take a creative writing class to expand my horizon's and tap into more creative thinking. I feel I still have so much I want to share but not quite sure how to go about putting my thoughts into creative words. I know there are several online classes available but I would really like to go to an actual physical class. Some days I miss school. I think being surrounded by similar peeps would be good for me. Thoughts? Suggestions? Wanna join me?!
Pay off all unnecessary Debt: Yes, I still have debt. Ugh. Up until now, I have just accepted that debt is going to be a part of my life forever. It doesn't have to be that way though. I have two credit cards I want to pay off, and also one student loan I want pay off this year. It's totally achievable if I discipline myself, stick to my budget, and follow through. I've done it before, and I know I can and will do it again.
Last but not least, I will continue to strive to be the best version of me I can be. I'm a work in progress and will never give up on myself, on my hopes, on my dreams.
This will be my last post of 2011. Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you who follow me publicly and also in secret. :) You all are such a blessing to me. Cheers to a very Happy and Bright New Year! The best is yet to come and I am confident that 2012 will be filled with wonderful things!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Musical Therapy
This break up is really kicking my a$$. I truly hate that it consumes my mind, my thoughts, my emotions. A friend of mine told me the other day "Just don't let this situation take away your joy." Sigh. She's right... I am letting it. So, in an effort to move forward I thought I would share with you some of my favorite break up songs. Cast your vote for your favorite and share your own favorite that you think I should include in my "Break ups SUCK" playlist. :)
Beyonce "Single Ladies"
What can I say... she be fierce!
Lady Gaga "Bad Romance"
This video freaks me out a bit but I like the song.
Adele "Rolling In the Deep"
"Turn my sorrow into treasured gold, you pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow"
Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"
Oldie but a goodie
Beyonce "Irreplaceable"
"To the left, to the left." Yes, she is on here twice. Beyonce knows a good break up song.
E for Explosion "This Is Me Being Honest"
Even with all of the "I hate what you did to me" break up songs, at the end of the day, I still feel sad and hurt. This song pretty much sums everything up on how I feel RIGHT NOW. Oh how I wish a had a fast forward button to get to the point where it doesn't hurt anymore. I guess I can take comfort in knowning that I am one day closer to that point than I was yesterday.
Beyonce "Single Ladies"
What can I say... she be fierce!
Lady Gaga "Bad Romance"
This video freaks me out a bit but I like the song.
Adele "Rolling In the Deep"
"Turn my sorrow into treasured gold, you pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow"
Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"
Oldie but a goodie
Beyonce "Irreplaceable"
"To the left, to the left." Yes, she is on here twice. Beyonce knows a good break up song.
E for Explosion "This Is Me Being Honest"
Even with all of the "I hate what you did to me" break up songs, at the end of the day, I still feel sad and hurt. This song pretty much sums everything up on how I feel RIGHT NOW. Oh how I wish a had a fast forward button to get to the point where it doesn't hurt anymore. I guess I can take comfort in knowning that I am one day closer to that point than I was yesterday.
Monday, December 19, 2011
My Christmas Card
2011 Lessons Learned
1. Sometimes life isn't fair. It isn't always rainbows and butterflies and often doesn't have a giant red bow attached, but life is still a gift.
2. Sometimes it's ok to be selfish but it doesn't mean you have to be rude or inconsiderate. Knowing the difference has gotten me far in life.
3. I should never EVER apologize for how I feel, ever.
3. Making peace with my past is important so I wont continue to mess up my present and more importantly, my future.
4. Sometimes all I can really can do is breathe in and breathe out and knowing that this too, shall pass.
5. God gave me this life because He knew I was strong enough to endure it.
6. In the end, what matters the most is knowing that I love, and I am loved.
7. Time heals all wounds. But it's a process. I am learning to give time, time.
8. Crying with someone is a lot more healing than crying alone.
9. Being angry with God isn't a sin. He expects it and can handle it. He is a God that gives and also takes away. No need to question His will. His plans are way bigger and better than anything I had in mind anyway.
10. Envy is a waste of time. Comparing myself to others will get me no where. We all have different walks in life. I just need to focus on my own path and it will get me where I need to be.
11. If a relationship needs to be a secret than it isn't worth being in. As one of my good friends once said "Jess, you are ANYTHING but quiet."
12. Communication is key to any and all relationships.
13. God knew what he was doing when He chose my family.
14. True friends are a dime a dozen. I consider myself rich in my friendships.
15. Learning patience isn't punishment.
16. It's never too late to be the person I was always meant to be.
17. My intuition is usually always right.
18. I need to listen to my head and gut more than my heart. My heart tends to get me in trouble.
19. There is always 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine, and the truth. The truth always finds it's way out eventually.
20. Never settle. The best isn't too good for me.
21. Anything worth having in life is worth fighting for.
22. I have to believe to receive.
23. A lot of things in life I can't control BUT I can control how I react.
24. Things can change in a blink of an eye but a comforting truth is knowing that God never blinks.
25. Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that matters. I will never lose Hope.
2. Sometimes it's ok to be selfish but it doesn't mean you have to be rude or inconsiderate. Knowing the difference has gotten me far in life.
3. I should never EVER apologize for how I feel, ever.
3. Making peace with my past is important so I wont continue to mess up my present and more importantly, my future.
4. Sometimes all I can really can do is breathe in and breathe out and knowing that this too, shall pass.
5. God gave me this life because He knew I was strong enough to endure it.
6. In the end, what matters the most is knowing that I love, and I am loved.
7. Time heals all wounds. But it's a process. I am learning to give time, time.
8. Crying with someone is a lot more healing than crying alone.
9. Being angry with God isn't a sin. He expects it and can handle it. He is a God that gives and also takes away. No need to question His will. His plans are way bigger and better than anything I had in mind anyway.
10. Envy is a waste of time. Comparing myself to others will get me no where. We all have different walks in life. I just need to focus on my own path and it will get me where I need to be.
11. If a relationship needs to be a secret than it isn't worth being in. As one of my good friends once said "Jess, you are ANYTHING but quiet."
12. Communication is key to any and all relationships.
13. God knew what he was doing when He chose my family.
14. True friends are a dime a dozen. I consider myself rich in my friendships.
15. Learning patience isn't punishment.
16. It's never too late to be the person I was always meant to be.
17. My intuition is usually always right.
18. I need to listen to my head and gut more than my heart. My heart tends to get me in trouble.
19. There is always 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine, and the truth. The truth always finds it's way out eventually.
20. Never settle. The best isn't too good for me.
21. Anything worth having in life is worth fighting for.
22. I have to believe to receive.
23. A lot of things in life I can't control BUT I can control how I react.
24. Things can change in a blink of an eye but a comforting truth is knowing that God never blinks.
25. Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that matters. I will never lose Hope.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Christmas Favorites
It's hard to believe that Christmas Eve is 10 days away. As cliche as it sounds, each year seems to go by faster than the one before. I thought I would take a moment and share with you some of my favorite Christmas memories, traditions, and also songs.
I believed in Santa until I was about 8 years old. He still comes and visits each year though as I am still a good girl. :)
My Mom and I take a weekend each December and make cookies together. Well, she bakes, I sit back and watch and taste test for her. It works out well.
Christmas Eve is spent up at my Grandma's in Pine City with my Mom's side of the family. We typically spend the day grazing on munchie foods, playing cards, watching TV, and just annoying I mean enjoying each others company. We have an actual sit down meal for dinner which consists of Swedish Meatballs, mashed potatoes, rolls, veggies, and of course, dessert. I wouldn't want my Christmas Eve meal to be any other way.
Christmas Day is spent with my Dad's side of the family. Breakfast in the morning, presents, late lunch/dinner in the afternoon. Basically eating, eating, and more eating.
One of my favorite Christmas memories was back in 1995. My parents had us believe that Christmas was going to be smaller that year meaning no real presents, no Christmas Tree, just a nice meal as a family together. My brother and I were 13 and 9 years old. Hearing that there wasn't going to be a true Christmas was heartbreaking, but we both took it like champs. A week after Christmas, my parents ended up surprising us both with a trip to Disney at 4am. My mom created a book and recorded a little poem as we read through it. At the end of the book there were tickets to Disney and our flight was leaving in 3 hours. This was all recorded on video as well. As you can imagine... my brother and I were ecstatic. I remember taking a shower that morning and was shaking with excitement. It was the first real and also last vacation my family took together before my parents split up and eventually divorced. A very bittersweet memory but a Christmas memory I will never forget.
Tradition is important to me and my family. Tradition = making memories and I plan on carrying on these family traditions along with creating some of my own when I do get married and start having a family of my own. My heart smiles just thinking about those possibilities.
Now I leave you with 2 of my favorite Christmas Songs and of course, a clip from Buddy the Elf. The greatest Christmas movie, ever.
Someday, I would love to spend Christmas in Hawaii! That would be a very Mele Kalikimaka time! P.S. I love Bing Crosby.
I saw this movie for the first time last year. I know, where have I been? It instantly became a Christmas favorite... that, and Love Actually and of course, Christmas Vacation.
My absolute favorite Christmas Hymn is O Holy Night. I think Carrie Underwood sings a pretty good version of it. I always get goosebumps when I hear
"Fall on your knees!
Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine,
O night when Christ was born"
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
I believed in Santa until I was about 8 years old. He still comes and visits each year though as I am still a good girl. :)
My Mom and I take a weekend each December and make cookies together. Well, she bakes, I sit back and watch and taste test for her. It works out well.
Christmas Eve is spent up at my Grandma's in Pine City with my Mom's side of the family. We typically spend the day grazing on munchie foods, playing cards, watching TV, and just annoying I mean enjoying each others company. We have an actual sit down meal for dinner which consists of Swedish Meatballs, mashed potatoes, rolls, veggies, and of course, dessert. I wouldn't want my Christmas Eve meal to be any other way.
Christmas Day is spent with my Dad's side of the family. Breakfast in the morning, presents, late lunch/dinner in the afternoon. Basically eating, eating, and more eating.
One of my favorite Christmas memories was back in 1995. My parents had us believe that Christmas was going to be smaller that year meaning no real presents, no Christmas Tree, just a nice meal as a family together. My brother and I were 13 and 9 years old. Hearing that there wasn't going to be a true Christmas was heartbreaking, but we both took it like champs. A week after Christmas, my parents ended up surprising us both with a trip to Disney at 4am. My mom created a book and recorded a little poem as we read through it. At the end of the book there were tickets to Disney and our flight was leaving in 3 hours. This was all recorded on video as well. As you can imagine... my brother and I were ecstatic. I remember taking a shower that morning and was shaking with excitement. It was the first real and also last vacation my family took together before my parents split up and eventually divorced. A very bittersweet memory but a Christmas memory I will never forget.
Tradition is important to me and my family. Tradition = making memories and I plan on carrying on these family traditions along with creating some of my own when I do get married and start having a family of my own. My heart smiles just thinking about those possibilities.
Now I leave you with 2 of my favorite Christmas Songs and of course, a clip from Buddy the Elf. The greatest Christmas movie, ever.
Someday, I would love to spend Christmas in Hawaii! That would be a very Mele Kalikimaka time! P.S. I love Bing Crosby.
I saw this movie for the first time last year. I know, where have I been? It instantly became a Christmas favorite... that, and Love Actually and of course, Christmas Vacation.
My absolute favorite Christmas Hymn is O Holy Night. I think Carrie Underwood sings a pretty good version of it. I always get goosebumps when I hear
"Fall on your knees!
Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine,
O night when Christ was born"
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
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