EXPRESS

What ever happened to the, “Treat others as you would want to be treated,” moto? I feel we are living in a more shallow and hateful world more than ever. I experienced something this past weekend that was so unbelievable painful that I had to blog about it.

I went to the State Fair on Saturday with a good friend of mine and had a lovely time. We parked at Rosedale Park and Ride and when we got back to my car we decided to stop in the mall and just browse for a little bit. My friend wanted to go into the store Express. She decided to try on some jeans so I just walked around looking at the clothes while thinking to myself, “My God, everything is so overpriced.” The store was relatively slow in traffic because of the Fair going on down the street. Whenever I am in a retail store, I try to steer clear of the sales people. I hate how they always ask you, “Can I help you find something,” or “What are you shopping for today?” When I shop, I like to just browse through things, pick the items I want to try on, pay for them and leave. I’m not big on the chit chat but understand it is a part of their job etc… On this particular day I wasn’t so lucky to avoid the annoying sales lady. As I was admiring some beautiful but overpriced tops, I was approached by one of the sales ladies who proceeded to tell me the following: “Hi… Our store only has sizes up to Large and Size 14. Maybe you should go next door to Lane Bryant and check out what they have for you.” I just sat there, tears welling in my eyes trying to stay strong. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. That someone could be so rude and hurtful that they would even say such a thing. I just smiled, and replied. “I’m actually here with a friend who is trying on Jeans,” and walked away.

I’m not dumb or oblivious to the fact that I’m a bigger girl, and by the world standards, and apparently Express, I’m FAT. I’ve always struggled with my weight and as soon as I am close to accepting and loving myself the way I am, I am hit by a truck with a comment like that and I’m back to square one which is feeling insecure, fat and ugly. Before this whole thing happened, I had made a commitment to myself that I was going to join Weight Watchers again. I was really motivated and committed to starting it again. Now, more than ever I want to do this. Not because I need to prove to the Skinny Bitch sales lady at Express that I can fit into their clothes, but because there is more to be than just my pretty face. I can not tell you how many times I’ve been told, “Jess, you have such a beautiful face, if only you would loose the weight, you would be a catch.” I’m sick of being the “Pretty Face, Fat chick girl.” I want to be the, “Pretty face, healthy, loves herself and the skin she is in girl.” It’s only been 2 days since I officially started the WW program and so far, it’s going ok except all I can think about is eating a box of Double Stuffed Oreos and a gallon of Milk. Nice right?!

For the record, I will never shop at Express again, even when I am skinny enough to fit in their pretentious and overpriced clothes!