Enough.

Things are busy as usual. As soon as I walk into work it is balls to the walls until I force myself to leave at 5pm to remain some sort of balance in my life. Truthfully though, if I was allowed to stay late and work overtime, I would probably be at work every night til at least 8pm and back at work at 7am. Lately I just feel like a robot. I get up, I go to work, I go to my 2nd job, I go home, I go to sleep and so on so forth. I desperately want and NEED more balance, and exciting things in my life but this is just where I'm at, for now, and sometimes I feels like it will be this way forever. I've been asking myself a lot lately, "When does it get any easier?" It's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when all my life consists of is work, sleep, work and sleep. I'm so tired, exhausted of being pulled in so many directions as well with the little discouraging comments ( see post from Wednesday, August 20, 2008) At the end of each day, I just want to scream "Enough!!!" I so wish I had the 'F you," attitude when it comes to work, life, as well with dealing with certain people (and family members).So many times I wish I could just quit, but I can't. I have too much at stake and so I just keep on keeping on and somehow I manage to drag myself out of bed every morning and go attack the day again. So far, not a big fan the big 2-6. Mid twenties have not been the greatest but for whatever reason, I still have hope that someday it will get better. That someday I will look back and laugh at how silly I was being for worrying so much and constantly comparing myself to others. Someday... someday. Sigh.