The "Shoulds" in life.

I ended up taking a personal day on Friday from work. I just needed a day to myself and in hopes to figure some stuff out. I’ve reached another funk and wall in life and it seems to happen all too often. Things will go great for awhile, then slowly decline and then bam, I back on the pity party train. I really dislike being on this train and I feel when I am I am only bringing those around me down.

One of the biggest things I seem to struggle with is always feeling like I should be so much farther along in my life then I am. I think one of the biggest things that is blocking myself from achieving fulfillment in life is finding true contentment and just all around accepting myself the way I am. I often find myself thinking and even saying “I should be married. I should loose 50 lbs. I should dress a certain way. I should have a child at this point. I should have my debt under control.” I should, I should, I should!!! Some how in my mind, if I have the “I shoulds” achieved, that somehow I will be accepted by the world, society, friends, family, a significant other etc… and then, I’ll finally be happy. Not true. As you can imagine, it is rather exhausting and no wonder I haven’t been able to achieve just simple contentment and all around happiness. I put so much pressure on myself with all the shoulds in my life that I forget to just live my life and love me for me, flaws and all. Going forward, I’m going to try really hard to focus on taking care of myself and learning to love and accept myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. I will stop “Shouding” on myself and just live my life the way it is and continue to just work hard at making it better.