Self Realizations

The past few weeks, I have been dealing with a lot of grown up things. In dealing with these things, I have also realized a lot about myself and I’d like to share my self realizations with you now….

1.I am a lot stronger then I think I am. Yes, I have my moments of weakness, nearly daily but the truth is, I am a fighter and I will win this battle and when I do, it will be the biggest thing I have accomplished in my life, yet. Can’t wait until I am at that finish line.

2.It’s ok to cry. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of being overwhelmed and for me, taking ownership of my life. I cry because I am grieving the loss of a life I thought I would have at this point. I cry because I feel scared, alone, and afraid. I cry because I want it to go away. I cry because I want a 2nd chance at life. I cry because I want a new beginning to actually LIVE my life vs. feel like I am slave to it.

3.I am organized, like REALLY OVERLY organized. All my T’s are crossed and my I’s are dotted. You kind of need to be in this situation.

4.I am impatient but I learning to listen to my heart and to listen to the lessons I am being taught. All of these roadblocks are opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of being angry and frustrated, I am trying my best to slow down and listen.

5.Laughter really is the best medicine. No matter what, I try to smile and laugh each and everyday, even if it takes every effort too.

6.I am learning to love and accept people where they are at. Going through this tough time makes me wish I could wear a sign around my neck that says “Be gentle with me, I am hurting” because sometimes people can be so blind to the reality of things. I am learning to be more kind to people as they too may be going through a tough time and just are really good at hiding it. Everybody has aches and pains. Everybody has had a broken heart. It will do us all some good to remember to be gentle and kind to everyone because you never really know what they are going through.

7.I am truly, TRULY loved by my family. If they could, I know they would trade places with me. Having that love and support is wonderful. It’s hard not to get emotional when you think of how loved, wanted, needed, cherished and adored you truly are.

8.Exercise is key to releasing stress. I love Zumba for this and I plan on continuing this love affair far after I am through this icky mess.

9.I have a hard time letting go. I tend to look back more when I should be looking forward. I continue to play the “What if’s” in my head when all I really should be doing is letting go. I’m learning though, and unfortunately the hard way.

10.God has a way of breaking you so He can rebuild. I’m not sure how much more broken I can be or get, but my arms are open and just praying that He gather me up soon. He brought me to this and I hope that He will bring me through it just the same. Everything is temporary. A comforting thought knowing that this too, shall pass.