Rejection/Motivation

I don’t think anyone ever really gets use to being rejected. Life has many disappointments and with each lesson, your heart and ego sting just a little bit more. I didn’t get the job that I interviewed for a few weeks ago. I’m actually at peace with the decision, as looking back at who I would’ve been reporting too, and a conversation we had the day I interviewed, I think I would’ve been constantly struggling to be “Good Enough” for him. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes not getting something is a blessing in disguise. I still can’t help but feel a sense of rejection though. I think that is a completely normal and human thing to feel, so I’m letting myself feel it.

I went against my better judgment and attempted to ask Brian (Softball guy) out on Saturday afternoon as per the conversation we had the week prior, he asked me if we could hang out soon. Since I hadn’t heard from him in a week, I thought I would make the first move, show that I was still interested. No harm in that? Wrong. He said he was “Hanging with HIS lady.” Ouch. That hurt, no it burned. I was let down, but the more I thought about it the more I got upset. Why did he even bother contacting me and asking me to hang out if he didn’t really mean it? Why did he give me his number and say he would be in touch soon if he didn’t really mean it. Why be polite?? F being polite, be real!! I have to put a little blame on myself though. I got my hopes up and they were crushed back down to reality, again. Lesson learned. Expect nothing, and you wont ever be disappointed.

Enough with the negative Debbie downer talk of rejection, I have some exciting news! I am going on a much needed and deserved vacation the week of my Birthday! My friend Ali and I are going to Miami leaving May 31st and coming back on June 3rd which is my actual Birthday. I’m REALLY excited!! It’s been far too long since I’ve gone anywhere and let’s face it, I’ve had one hell of a year and deserve a little get away, right? We are staying at The Bentley. OOOOOoooo, Ahhhh! A little (a lot) expensive, but I’m worth it and it will be worth it. From now until May 31st, I am on sexy mamacita mode. I’ve fallen off the diet wagon hard core when it comes to my health and weight. I’ve been dragging my feet at getting back into a routine again and now I have all the motivation in the world… Miami!! Thanks to my AWESOME Zumba instructor, I will be taking 5 Zumba classes a week!!!!! Yes, please!!! She is intense and pushes you to your max, which is what I need. My hope is to loose 10-15 lbs in 4 weeks. A little crazy, but totally doable if I really push myself. I am staying strict with my diet, and working my tush off BIG time!! My hope is once Miami has come and gone that I will continue to stay on track and really embrace the life change of being healthier. Food has always been my comfort. Food has always been my friend but I can’t keep using it as a crutch. Only I have the power to change, and I hope I have reached my breaking point of enough being enough. I AM so much more than just a pretty face and it’s time for the world to see the change that is burning inside my soul just aching to get out.