What would you do?

Every morning I walk by the Powerball sign that shows what the Jackpot is at along with some clever remark on what you could possibly do with that astronomical amount of money. I've always fantasized what I would do if I ever won the lottery or with large amounts of cash. Here are a few things I would do if I won 109 Million Dollars (Today's Jackpot)

-Give 50% away to family, friends, and charities.

-Pay off my house, car, credit cards, school loans

-Open a pet rescue organization

-Take a year long vacation around the world. I'd like to go to Hawaii, Alaska, Australia, Hong Kong, Italy, Croatia, London, Paris, Germany, Spain, Caribbean, Argentina and then a few places in the United States that I haven't visited yet.

-Take yearly vacations twice a year.

-Donate all of my clothes, shoes, purses to charity.

-Go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.

-Attend yearly fashion shows in New York, Paris, and Milan

-Hire a stylist to do my hair and make up everyday

-Hire a personal chef

-Hire a personal trainer

-Get liposuction on my tummy, butt, thighs, and my icky back fat!

-Get a boob reduction (yes, I said reduction)

-Get weekly massages, pedicures, and manicures

- Build my dream house and purchase a vacation home or two

Promises to myself

I deserve good things
I am happy and content with my life that I have chosen to live and lead
I am blessed in so many ways
I am loved and cherished by those close to me
I am beautiful inside and out
I am never given more than I can handle
I am at peace with myself
I am at peace with my life
I will have good things happen to me
I will focus on those good things
I will attract good things to my life
I will find true love that I deserve from a man who is worthy of me and my love
I will learn to forgive myself and others who have done wrong to me
I will trust that God only has my best interests at heart and will only bring good things my way
I will accept what God gives me and be thankful for all of His gifts
I will remain positive in all situations
I will lead by example to others
I will believe that everything works out the way it is suppose too
I will accept that I am not perfect and sometimes I will fall but I will pick myself back up and be stronger and more confident and secure within myself
I will not consume myself with worry, doubt or regret. I will transform those fears into trust, hope and happiness

As of this moment, I give it ALL up. It is no longer in my hands. My life WILL be different and transformed. I will not look back on the past but only look forward to my bright future that is in store.

I'm an emotional cutter

It's Valentine's Day and I'm watching wedding shows on the WE and Style Network. That's like putting salt on an open wound. Apparently I like to torture myself and what better day to do that then on the most romantic day of the year.

I think I'll go for walk and maybe cupid will shoot me in the butt with a Valentine's Day surprise.

Thought for the day....

"Growth begins when we learn to accept our own weaknesses"

Everything will be fine in 2009

2008 has come and gone and I'm actually thankful that the Holidays are over. I took some time off from job #1 but ended up working WAY too much with Job #2 and #3. I need a vacation from my so called vacation. Needless to say I'm glad to be back at Job #1 as I seem to strive on some sense or normalty and routine.

I took a look at the list of resolutions/goals I made for myself last year and I am happy to say that I managed to achieve/keep up with most of them. Yah! I've been thinking more about what I want to accomplish in 2009 and so far I've come up with the following.

1. Take an actual vacation to a warm climate!!! I'm in the process of trying to book a flight to Florida for a long weekend to visit my friend Becky. It has been WAY too long since I've taken a TRUE vacation from all of my jobs let alone to a warm climate. I am O.V.E.R winter and this nasty cold weather/snow we've been having. I am a much happier Jessica when I am on a beach with a cocktail in my hand. So far, I have tenatively booked a minication to West Palm Beach March 4th- 9th. Yah!

2. Continue my success with Weight Watchers. So far I've lost 15 lbs (Way proud of the fact that I maintained over the Holidays especially since I grazed for 2 weeks straight) I don't want to set out an unrealistic goal for myself and say I want to loose 50 lbs by such and such a date. I just want to continue to loose at the rate I have been (a pound or two a week).

3. Invest into an actual Laptop. I figure it's 2009, I'm 26 going on 27 it's time I have a computer/laptop. I hate not having that access or ability at home. Luckily I can get a pretty good discount through work.

4. Along with taking care of myself I just want to take more time for myself too. Lately I've been running a million miles a minute. I juggle three jobs and in between that I try to visit family and friends. By the time for myself I usually end up sleeping and I hate knowing I'm wasting my me time sleeping. I think booking this minication to Florida will help. Even though I can't necessarily afford financially to take a trip, I emotionally can not afford not to. Sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and enjoy life in the moment.

5. Last but not least, as I said in a previous post, this next year I plan to focus more on the things that I already have vs. the things I despearately want. I want to learn to know what it is to be truly happy in life and what that all entails. I want to find pleasure and contentment in the small things and not worry so much in general.

Happy New Year!