Thursday, January 28, 2010
Strike 2
Was suppose to have a "Drink" date yesterday after work. He texted me to cancel due to "Work." I'm a little confused towards his excuse since according to his profile, he is a muscian. Hmmmm... I'm not liking this new trend in dating. 2 cancellations in less then a week. I'm on a roll.
Monday, January 25, 2010
How many frogs?
I was suppose to have a date on Saturday afternoon. Just a simple coffee date. His name was Phil and we met on Match about 2 weeks ago. He contacted me because as he put it "You have a beautiful smile and kind heart from what I read in your profile." I wasn't too interested in him based on his profile but figured he was worth emailing back and forth. After dozens of emails, he asked me to meet up for coffee. I agreed. Throughout this process, he found me via Facebook and friended me. Harmless, right? Saturday morning at about 2 am (at least thats when the email came through) he emails saying that he doesn't think he can meet me. After looking through my Facebook account, it is clear that I am Liberal and can't date a person who voted for Obama let alone a person who has friends who are Gay. Are you FREAKING kidding me??!!! I get the Liberal thing but because I have Gay friends, he can't date me or just meet for Coffee??! Can we say close minded prick??! I emailed him back in the most PC Liberal fashion and pretty much told him to stick it but also thanking him for not wasting anymore of my time. I wasn't so upset with the date being cancelled but for him trying to make me feel bad for having friends that are Gay.
I've been on Match for 4 months and I am NOT impressed. I'm going to ride out my 6 month commitment and then cancel once I am through. I am to the point now where if it's suppose to happen, it will happen. But I also have to get to place in my life where I need to be ok with being single and need to be ok with me possibly being single my whole life. As much as I want love, marriage, and a family, there is a chance it wont happen for me and I need to be ok with that. I'm not giving up though. I truly believe that if someone really desires love, marriage, and a family, then those things will happen. Guess the point I am trying to make is, once I am at peace with myself and my life, I hope that all of the other pieces will fall into place too.
I've been on Match for 4 months and I am NOT impressed. I'm going to ride out my 6 month commitment and then cancel once I am through. I am to the point now where if it's suppose to happen, it will happen. But I also have to get to place in my life where I need to be ok with being single and need to be ok with me possibly being single my whole life. As much as I want love, marriage, and a family, there is a chance it wont happen for me and I need to be ok with that. I'm not giving up though. I truly believe that if someone really desires love, marriage, and a family, then those things will happen. Guess the point I am trying to make is, once I am at peace with myself and my life, I hope that all of the other pieces will fall into place too.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
My idol
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"- Marilyn Monroe
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Fortune?
I went to the 2nd Annual PJ Party this past weekend with my Mom. I had the opportunity to sit with a Psychic and Handwriting Analyst. I’ve always been pretty fascinated with the whole Gypsy lifestyle. Though I am a bit skeptical, it’s kind of like watching a cheesy reality tv show, you want to know more and see what happens.
My first reading was with an Intuitive Psychic. She asked me my name and date of birth and from that she told me the following: You have been struggling to remain positive for as long as you can remember. Some things are just harder for you to achieve and you constantly compare yourself to others and always strive to better yourself. I see that 2010 is the year for you and you will be able to overcome your struggles. I see that you recently got out of a relationship that consumed a majority of your time and heart. I see this relationship bringing you down and can only advise that you separate yourself from this person completely. You tend to always fall back on this person when you are sad or feeling down and figure “It’s better then being alone.” Once you free yourself from this person, I see you meeting someone quickly and love and marriage will quickly follow. You have ties to the West Coast and I see you potentially moving out there within the next few years. I see big changes to you in the next 2 years with your job and home. Though you are happy in your job now, I see you getting extremely bored and your creativity isn’t being used to its full advantage. I see you going back to school to either become a teacher and or doing something in sales. You are very good with people and have a calming and inviting effect on them. People are drawn to you and your aura and you have a special gift. It’s a good thing that you like children because I see you having 5 kids. .Wowza, huh? She pretty much nailed it on the head as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t tell her anything other then my name and date of birth and from that she pretty much summed up my life!
After the Psychic, I went and saw the Handwriting Analyst. I wrote down 2 sentences and from those 2 sentences she told me the following: You are running a million miles a minute. Your life is extremely coordinated and you are constantly going going going. You strive or peace and simplicity but your responsibilities take priority over your happiness. Since your signature is hard to decipher by others, they don’t know who you are let alone you don’t know who you are yourself. I advise you slow down a bit otherwise something bad could potentially happen to you such as a car accident etc… You have a very warm and welcoming spirit and I see you potentially as a teacher. You have an opinion and like to share your thoughts and feelings on a variety of subjects. You are a creative person but your creativity is being hidden with all of your responsibilities. Take time for yourself, slow down a bit and learn to enjoy life more.
I left both of these readings with goosebumps but also hope. We shall see what the future holds for Miss Jessica Sparling.
My first reading was with an Intuitive Psychic. She asked me my name and date of birth and from that she told me the following: You have been struggling to remain positive for as long as you can remember. Some things are just harder for you to achieve and you constantly compare yourself to others and always strive to better yourself. I see that 2010 is the year for you and you will be able to overcome your struggles. I see that you recently got out of a relationship that consumed a majority of your time and heart. I see this relationship bringing you down and can only advise that you separate yourself from this person completely. You tend to always fall back on this person when you are sad or feeling down and figure “It’s better then being alone.” Once you free yourself from this person, I see you meeting someone quickly and love and marriage will quickly follow. You have ties to the West Coast and I see you potentially moving out there within the next few years. I see big changes to you in the next 2 years with your job and home. Though you are happy in your job now, I see you getting extremely bored and your creativity isn’t being used to its full advantage. I see you going back to school to either become a teacher and or doing something in sales. You are very good with people and have a calming and inviting effect on them. People are drawn to you and your aura and you have a special gift. It’s a good thing that you like children because I see you having 5 kids. .Wowza, huh? She pretty much nailed it on the head as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t tell her anything other then my name and date of birth and from that she pretty much summed up my life!
After the Psychic, I went and saw the Handwriting Analyst. I wrote down 2 sentences and from those 2 sentences she told me the following: You are running a million miles a minute. Your life is extremely coordinated and you are constantly going going going. You strive or peace and simplicity but your responsibilities take priority over your happiness. Since your signature is hard to decipher by others, they don’t know who you are let alone you don’t know who you are yourself. I advise you slow down a bit otherwise something bad could potentially happen to you such as a car accident etc… You have a very warm and welcoming spirit and I see you potentially as a teacher. You have an opinion and like to share your thoughts and feelings on a variety of subjects. You are a creative person but your creativity is being hidden with all of your responsibilities. Take time for yourself, slow down a bit and learn to enjoy life more.
I left both of these readings with goosebumps but also hope. We shall see what the future holds for Miss Jessica Sparling.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The "Shoulds" in life.
I ended up taking a personal day on Friday from work. I just needed a day to myself and in hopes to figure some stuff out. I’ve reached another funk and wall in life and it seems to happen all too often. Things will go great for awhile, then slowly decline and then bam, I back on the pity party train. I really dislike being on this train and I feel when I am I am only bringing those around me down.
One of the biggest things I seem to struggle with is always feeling like I should be so much farther along in my life then I am. I think one of the biggest things that is blocking myself from achieving fulfillment in life is finding true contentment and just all around accepting myself the way I am. I often find myself thinking and even saying “I should be married. I should loose 50 lbs. I should dress a certain way. I should have a child at this point. I should have my debt under control.” I should, I should, I should!!! Some how in my mind, if I have the “I shoulds” achieved, that somehow I will be accepted by the world, society, friends, family, a significant other etc… and then, I’ll finally be happy. Not true. As you can imagine, it is rather exhausting and no wonder I haven’t been able to achieve just simple contentment and all around happiness. I put so much pressure on myself with all the shoulds in my life that I forget to just live my life and love me for me, flaws and all. Going forward, I’m going to try really hard to focus on taking care of myself and learning to love and accept myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. I will stop “Shouding” on myself and just live my life the way it is and continue to just work hard at making it better.
One of the biggest things I seem to struggle with is always feeling like I should be so much farther along in my life then I am. I think one of the biggest things that is blocking myself from achieving fulfillment in life is finding true contentment and just all around accepting myself the way I am. I often find myself thinking and even saying “I should be married. I should loose 50 lbs. I should dress a certain way. I should have a child at this point. I should have my debt under control.” I should, I should, I should!!! Some how in my mind, if I have the “I shoulds” achieved, that somehow I will be accepted by the world, society, friends, family, a significant other etc… and then, I’ll finally be happy. Not true. As you can imagine, it is rather exhausting and no wonder I haven’t been able to achieve just simple contentment and all around happiness. I put so much pressure on myself with all the shoulds in my life that I forget to just live my life and love me for me, flaws and all. Going forward, I’m going to try really hard to focus on taking care of myself and learning to love and accept myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. I will stop “Shouding” on myself and just live my life the way it is and continue to just work hard at making it better.
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