Starting over

The past few weeks (honestly, the past 6 months) have been beyond emotionally draining. Extreme highs followed by even lower lows. Not only has my heart been beat up, but my mind and body are exhausted and turning on each other by getting sick and just feeling all around crumby. I hate the fact that I let someone control my emotions. I hate the fact that I trusted him with everything and not only was that trust broken, but I no longer trust, anyone. I am so jaded. So bitter. So angry. All of these emotions do not look good on me and I so desperately wish I could just snap my fingers and be happy again. I miss Jess. I don't even know who Jess is anymore.

A friend introduced me to this website www.bravegirlsclub.com a few weeks ago. I signed up for their "Daily Truth" emails for a little inspiration. A little pick me up when everything in my body just wants to feel down and sorry for myself. I got this "Daily Truth" from them on Friday and it hit me straight in my heart and I'd like to share with it you now.

Dear Authentic Girl,

If emotional funks didn't show up in our lives from time to time, we probably wouldn't stop at look at what we are doing, how are doing it, and what the consequences are of being off track. Funks kind of stop us in our tracks... even though they feel yucky, and sometimes scary... they stop us and make us think. They also make us appreciate happiness so much more once the funk is over.

Don't be afraid of funks. Sure they are highly annoying... they show up when you don't really have the time or energy to deal with them, and they sometimes stay much longer than they could possibly be needed... but they sure do make sure want to change some things when they come.

So... because of this... they really are a gift. THey are one of those paradoxical gifts of opposition that taste bitter and therefore make sure appreciate the sweet parts of our life. They whip us into action and make us stop settling for things that we shouldn't be settling for. They get us back on track so many times... they show us where we turn for comfort and who our friends are.

Roll with it baby. The funk will be over before you know it, it will be gone as fast as it came... and it will leave lots of gifts if you are open to receiving them.

You are just right. You'll be smiling and dancing again soon.

Right now, I'm still too angry and bitter to see this whole situation as a blessing. I'm still in the stage of "Why??!... Why does this keep happening??!!! When is my version of happily ever after going to happen??!!!" But, after reading this "Truth" it still gives me hope that someday, I can look back and be thankful and glad for the experience(s). That someday, somehow, all of my heartache and break will be worth it.