I sometimes have to pinch myself because it doesn’t seem real. For once in my life, I am in a healthy relationship. I like him and he likes me. Seems to simple, right? With us, it is. We have our differences and even had our first little tiff last Saturday night, but we were able to discuss it and move on. No drama, just mutual respect and admiration. I ended up unintentionally spending most of last weekend with him. He had little miss with him most of that time too, so in other words… we played house. Might I also add that little miss quite possibly has the capability to melt my heart right out of my body with just one smile? Seriously. Oh, and I suppose P does too, but in a different way. I’m one lucky girl. Anyways…on Sunday night, I was playing with little miss on the floor and P says to me “Did you think 2 months ago you would be spending a Sunday night with your boyfriend and his 7 month old daughter.” I just smiled and said “No, not at all, but I’m glad I’m here.” I got a taste of what life COULD be like if things were to ever get to that point and I have to admit, I liked it… I liked it a lot.
I’ve reached a place in my life where everything seems balanced. Things are so balanced that they seem unbalanced. Even though the stress of my condo is gone, my new worry is what is next for me. I’m so happy right now, that I’m terrified. My biggest fear right now is my happiness. How ridiculous does that sound?!? I struggle with just living in the moment and not worrying about tomorrow. I wish I could just be present, now, today and enjoy what’s in front of me vs. stressing about things that haven’t even unfolded yet. Why must I always be expecting the other shoe to drop or for things to fall apart? Perhaps if I just enjoyed what I have been blessed with and live each moment, in the moment, more blessings would rain down on me? I need to somehow learn to NOT tip the balances in my life and just live wholly and completely for today. Any suggestions on how I can go about doing this bloggie friends?
1 comment:
Oh Miss Jess!
My mom does the same thing.
She worries over fears that to most seem silly.
I try to remind her that it's not good to live that way.
So as a reminder read Matthew 6:25-34
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[d] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Smile, because your beautiful and you have nothing to worry about in this moment.
Be Blessed,
Biz
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