Miami was beautiful. Gorgeous weather. 80’s and sunny with a slight breeze everyday. Perfection. I soaked in the sun all day and went out to dinner each night. I should feel relaxed and rejuvenated, but I think perhaps I am even more tense and stressed then before I left. While laying out on the beach, I was in contact with my Realtor who was in contact with my Bank. The bank got back in touch with her and said that he didn’t do his full research on my file and now realizes that my situation does not qualify as distressed. So let me get this straight… My property has lost 80+% of its value, I was paying $340 a month in Association dues that don’t really pay for anything, and I was living in a unsafe environment that has crime happening EVERYDAY?? That doesn’t qualify as distressed? I have a few choice words for my Bank. The case worker who was assigned my case said that if the short sale is approved, I need to come to closing with more then the original asking price of $3100, otherwise they would be coming after me for the difference on my loan. F. I felt sick. I felt like someone ripped a hole in my stomach and tore out my insides. The bank doesn’t give 2 shits about me or my situation. They only care about getting paid.
Despite the frustrating and scary news, I tried my best to push it aside and just focus on having fun and enjoying my time down in South Beach. I’m pretty sure I consumed 50,000 calories of food and drinks and they were worth every bite and sip. Harsh reality of how much everything costs down there. Drinks were on average $14. Gulp. They were mostly alcohol though and should be for that price. It helped me numb the reality of what was pressing on my mind at the time.
Friday was my Birthday. I am officially 29. I didn’t sleep the best down in Miami and was usually up rather early. The morning of my Birthday, I was up at 7:30am. I decided to go sit up on the pool deck and soak up some more sun. It was already 78 and sunny and the sun was already intense. I sat out there for about 2 hours. Taking in the view and also thinking about what I was going to do about my situation. Had a little heart to heart with God and finally said goodbye to South Beach. When I got back to Minneapolis, it was nearly 90 and humid. It was hotter in Minneapolis than Miami which was a surprise. Went out to dinner with my family and met up with an old friend later that night. It was a good night, and gorgeous night weather wise too.
Saturday I spent the day shopping with my Aunt, Grandma and Mom and then went to Psycho Suzi’s with 2 of my girlfriends. It was really low key and nice just to sit, eat, and chat. I have some pretty great friends and for that, I am thankful.
Sunday was one more Birthday celebration with my Dad. Breakfast at my favorite spot. Spent the day unpacking, doing laundry and managed to get to the beach (lake) to soak up some more rays. MN sun is WAY different then Miami sun. I think I prefer Miami sun.
Sunday night as I was getting ready for bed, I got a phone call from my Realtor. (I should also point out that my Realtor is also a really good friend. I’m so thankful she has been with me and helped me throughout this whole process. I trust her and I would be absolutely lost if I didn’t have her help.) I feel bad because now every time I see her name pop up on my phone, my heart stops briefly because I am nervous with what news she has to share. Last nights news was unfortunately bad, too. My buyer pulled his offer on my Condo. He found another place to buy. I don’t really blame him but I can’t help but be incredibly angry. Not at him, but the bank. They dragged their feet for 6 months. I have jumped through so many hoops for them and now my buyer is gone. I wanted to scream last night but instead, after I hung up the phone, I just cried. I don’t know how much more I can handle of this. The fear of the unknown is paralyzing. I feel so alone. I just want someone to hug me, to listen to me, to let me cry. I keep holding it in though. I don’t want to bother my friends and family with “My issues” because this was my choice to do all of this. I’m afraid that one of these days I am going to reach my boiling point and just break down completely. Until that day comes, or if it comes, all I can really do is keep plugging away. I keep hoping, praying that God and the Bank will show some mercy. God never gives us more than we can handle, right? Lately I'm struggling with believing this truth.
3 comments:
A friend once told me "God gives us more than we can handle so we fully rely on Him." I always have a listening ear for you! And a hug of course!!
oh i agree with daphne...words of wisdom there! happy birthday sweet girl. just trust. it's all going to work out...it will!
"When life gets too hard to stand, kneel" - I agree with the other women that He never gives us more than we can handle, but he gives it to us so that we can rely on Him. Your vacation pictures are beautiful! Happy Belated Birthday!!! Sending prayers that it all works out & soon :)
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