New Leaf

Monday night I had a heart to heart with God and pretty much said “Enough is enough, I need some answers. I need some good news.” He heard me. Boy did He hear me.

Back story… before I left from Miami I did an informational interview with the Divisional Director of Product Design and Development. Basically in a nutshell, he’s a big deal in my department at work. His current admin is retiring in July and as soon as I heard this news, I knew I wanted to be considered. I met with him and had a very casual conversation about my background, schooling, experience etc… at the end of our time together I asked him when the position was going to be posted so I can apply. He said he wasn’t planning on posting the position and was going to make his decision purely based on his casual interviews and by recommendations. My first thought was “CRAP” but then I chilled out and said “Whatever will be, will be.” Well, this Wednesday my boss was acting kind of funny. She kept asking me “Anything new happening??” Since this isn’t an out of the ordinary question for her to ask me, I didn’t think anything of it, except for she was asking A LOT. Finally it was 4:30pm and I was getting ready to leave for the day and she asked again, “Anything new?” I looked at her and said “NO! Why, do you know something I don’t know??!” and she said “Yes!” I figured it out. Thursday morning I was offered the job!!!! It’s a promotion, a pay grade jump and a big bump in pay!! I will be supporting a team of 180 people!!!!!!! Going from a team of 15 to 180 is a BIG change. How do I feel?? I feel REALLY excited, but I am so REALLY nervous. I know I deserve this, I know I am more than capable to do this job but there is a part of me that is scared. Whenever there is huge change happening in my life, I doubt my abilities. My insecurities creep in and quickly start whispering lies to my brain. I am working overtime to keep them at bay and just bask in sunshine of finally having some good news to celebrate!! I deserve this, I am good enough, I am smart enough, I will do great. I am great. Rinse and repeat. :)

Now onto some MORE good news…. I have a new buyer who put in an offer last night AND my Bank is approving the Short Sale as long as I come to closing with $3100 cash (I was fearing I would need to come with more). There are still some logistics that need to be worked out but I have a good feeling that this is going to be ending soon. I’m so ready to close this chapter and start rebuilding my life (and my credit). For a long time I feel like there have been so many weights holding me back from truly living my life, my Condo being one of them. I’m almost there. The home stretch. I will power through and get to the other side. I can’t wait until I can look back and say “Damn…. Look what I went through, look what I did, and look how strong I am because of it!” I am not one to boast or be proud, but in this case I am proud of myself and will be even prouder once I reach the valley of peace and rebuilding.

A new leaf has been turned. I am soaking up the goodness and will focus only on how wonderful it feels to be here now not worrying about what tomorrow may bring. God is in control. He is the God that gives and takes away. Right now, He has heard my cries and I am so thankful for Him answering my prayers. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.