Random Ramblings

The start of this week was rough. I was still feeling down, sad, zombie like. I was trying so hard to smile on the outside but the inside was breaking down and it was hard to keep it together a majority of the time. I had my first session on Monday afternoon with a new counselor. I always get a little nervous meeting a “Therapist” as I have had some bad experiences in the past. This experience was different. I walked in and the lights were dim. There were treats, coffee, water and a sea of smutty magazines on the coffee table. Call me crazy, but seeing the smutty magazines on the coffee table was a sign that I was right where I needed to be. I instantly felt relaxed. Overall, the first session went well or as well as any first session could go. I really appreciated the fact that she said right from the beginning “This is YOUR story, YOUR feelings, YOUR hurt, YOUR pain. I am not here to change YOU, only you can change you. I am here to help you process your story, your feelings, your hurt, and your pain.” More to come on this front.

On Sunday night I decided it was time to unplug for a bit from Facebook. I was finding myself being on it too much, and not to mention that there are several “Friends” that were just irritating the crap out of me. I was getting frustrated with these people with the things they would post, status updates etc… and then I would be getting frustrated with myself for allowing their actions affect my attitude. It was time for a break, detoxify from social media for awhile and just focus on me, my life, and getting to my “Happy Place” again. I did also end up watching The Social Network on Friday night and the whole beginning of Facebook left a sour taste in my mouth. Mark Zuckerberg was/is an Ahole and I don’t know if I want to be supporting his shaddy cause. If you don’t know what I am talking about, watch the movie.

I’m quickly learning that if you expect nothing, you will never be disappointed. My realtor emailed me this morning informing me that my NEW buyer is withdrawing their offer due to “Financing” reasons. I’m calling their bluff. Usually when you are looking at homes and put in an offer, you already have the pre-approval letter. I think they found a better place and just decided to withdraw. Nothing really surprises me anymore. Nothing shocks me. Maybe I’m just becoming stronger in dealing with this whole mess? Foreclosure is looking more and more like my only option. I received 2 Pre-Foreclosure notices a few weeks back, and unless I find a buyer ASAP, I may have no other option. It sucks. It hurts. I am so unbelievably angry at my bank for dragging their feet for 6 plus months but what can I do? I am a good person, trying to better myself and my life and I am stuck in a shitty situation. All I can do now is wait and pray for a miracle.