Back on the wagon

It's been 6 months since I last blogged about my 30 by 30 goal. Meh... I figured if I just ignored the scale that I would magically lose the last 20 pounds I wanted to shed by the time I was 30 years. NOT. There was one weekend in August when I decided to step back on that dreaded thing just to see how much damage I had done and was extremely surprised to see that I somehow managed to lose another 5 pounds vs. gain. That high was short lived as the next week... life happened. I went through rejection by someone I really liked, work became total insanity, and my nights and weekends turned into eating and drinking my feelings. I'm really good at that.

I leave for Hawaii in 110 days. That's 16 weeks from yesterday. That should be reason enough to get my arse in gear but still I'm struggling to find motivation. I don't have any excuses but pure laziness. Though I am exhausted, I know getting out and moving would do me good, and yet I still just sit on my couch watching SATC for the 100th time. Yesterday was bad. I slept until 10am which is odd for me as usually I am up by 7am. Had breakfast and literally just sat, read, napped, watched TV, read, napped. All day. The sun was shinning. I should've bundled up and went for a walk but instead I chose to sit on my butt and be lazy. Ugh. I remember thinking to myself that I need to change my habits otherwise it's going to get out of control again. Finally around 5pm, I threw my tennis shoes on, a hooded sweatshirt and went for a walk. It felt good to breathe in the cool air. My muscles were happy that I was moving.

As I enter into the winter months, I need to get into a routine of dragging my butt down to the fitness center in my apartment building. I was so committed last year for a good 2-3 months and then I let it go. I'm so frustrated with myself. I know I can do this. I know that I can make better choices, exercise more, eat less. Be healthier. I can lose the weight. I have lost the weight before and I can do it again. I know that when I do this, for real, I will feel so much better about myself in more ways than one so why can't I just do it already??! The term "I eat because I am unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat" rings so much truth for me. At least I realize this, whereas some people just stay in denial.

It's time to get serious. FOR REAL. Today is a new day. Time to pick myself back up, put those tennis shoes back on, and start taking care of ME!