I'm still eating and drinking my feelings. Prime example: Yesterday I had cookies for breakfast, margarita, chips and salsa, fajitas for dinner. Fail. I felt so guilty when I got home that I forced my tennis shoes on and stepped on that treadmill. I kept burping up margarita (sexy) so I limited my "Workout" to 30 minutes. I promised myself that I would actually push my tush tonight when I get home.
Someone asked me if I was a Christian because I have gay friends and support equality for them. I was completely and utterly disgusted with their comment. How incredibly ignorant for them to judge and say such a thing. Sin is sin, people. Red, yellow, black, white, gay, straight, we ALL are precious in HIS sight. I have a hard time believing that God would HATE anyone but especially HATE gays. Their sin is no more and no less than my own. No one has the right to caste judgement or limit the human and civil rights ALL people deserve. Please take into consideration this is my opinion and you are entitled to yours. I don't judge you for you stances on this subject and expect the same respect in return. Fair? I think so.
I'm so over this election. The political ads are getting to be a bit much. From the sounds of it, its going to be a tight race. I just hope it's not another 2004 re-count battle. What a mess that was. Whether you are right or left on your political beliefs, we have to give mad props to our President. He inherited a mess and in my opinion has done a pretty good job considering everything. People need to realize that things aren't going to change over night. Change takes time, it takes patience, it takes hard work, team work. It takes compromise, and sacrifice from EVERYONE!!!! Here's an idea... why don't we stop blaming the other party for all that is wrong in this country and start working together to come up with actual solutions versus pointing all of the things that are wrong. Just a thought. I digress.
Mr. Toxic tried to weasel his way back in the other day. I took a huge step and told him no. It was hard. I felt anxious in doing so, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I need to treat him as if he is a drug and I am addicted to him. I'm not addicted to who I think he is now, I'm addicted to the idea of what I thought he was, then. Haven't let go of that version of him yet. I thought I conquered this but it has become clear, I haven't. I hope I have enough courage and strength to continue to say no again in the future. Baby steps.
Work is still insane but thankfully my boss has been SO supportive and encouraging that it makes this stressful time go a lot smoother than it could be. The new hire I have been training has been going well. I've been super hard on myself in thinking I am not a good trainer/teacher but the feedback I've been getting is the exact opposite. She is thriving because I am a good teacher. This makes me feel good. Bonus points is I will have a ton to write about in my annual review. Those dreadful things are always impossible to write, but this year it will be a piece of cake (hmmm cake, stop it Jess!!!) Score!
I'm hosting a girls afternoon this coming Sunday at my place! I love to entertain and have people over. It gives me an excuse to super clean my apartment, along with pulling out my wine glasses. We are celebrating a friends birthday, and another friend will be bringing her newborn baby boy so I can get my baby fix at the same time.
This whole being 30 thing is still settling in. There are moments when I have minor freak outs when I realize I am a legit adult. The other day it happened when I was driving home from my Mom's after having dinner. I was sitting at a red light and the little voice in my head said "Holy crap, I'm an adult. I'm driving home to MY apartment where I take care of MYSELF. Holy crap." Then the light turned green, and I snapped back into reality. I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to being an adult. When did it sink in for you?
I leave for Hawaii in 108 days, 2 hours, 52 minutes and 12 seconds but who's counting?
That's it for now.
1 comment:
Oh Jess,
Let it all out!
Bud & I have dealt with the same questions regarding gays ourself. We know quite a few people who are gay and honestly we don't feel we need to stop them from getting married or what not. You are right. Sin is sin and it's all equal. So honestly, I can't cast the first stone since I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God myself. God will make the final judgements when we get to the pearly gates, so why can't we all just show love. Why can't we all just be supportive and loving and be examples of Christ Jesus's love? So know that you are not alone and that many of us Christians get irritated by other Christians who have become set in their ways.
I will be praying for your Mr. Toxic detoxification and recovery process! ;) I know you have it in you. You know you have it because of how you write about it.
I'm so proud of you! Keep up the good work and take it to heart. Obviously if this trainee is thriving then you ROCK! Take that praise and use it as motivation to continue to rock!
I think I've had at least a dozen moments when I realize I'm an adult. Most of them just like the one you described. I have a baby now and I still sometimes think....wait, I have a baby, I'm a mom, ipso facto, I'm an adult?!?!
Loved stopping by to catch up this morning! Have a Blessed day!!!
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