Carousel

My heart is heavy and I can't really explain why I feel the way I feel, I just do. The fear of everything changing held me back from speaking my truth. Now that I have spoken my truth, everything has changed. Was it worth it? What was the lesson learned? Was this always a part of the greater plan and purpose?  People can come quickly into your life and leave just as quickly on their way out. I can't say that I didn't try. I probably tried too much. Why must I be so available, so open, so honest with people? Why am I so afraid to say no and back away when the first tingling in my heart starts to flutter and say "This isn't right." People have a way of telling you who they really are in their actions. Maybe they were showing me all along who they were but I dismissed the reality of things. The reality and truth in their actions and words.  My life seems to be a never ending carousel ride. Up and down. Round and Round. Same pattern, different situation.