Purpose

I've been spending a lot of time in prayer and personal reflection the past few weeks. My prayers have been focused on God truly using me for HIS glory. That I be a light. That I can have an impact on this world and others.

Up until recently, I was struggling in my relationship with my Boss. It had gotten to the point where I was physically sick with worry and stress of the thought of going to work as I didn't know what to expect and if I would be used as his personal punching bag. Around the same time that I woke up and was finally happy again, was around the time when things started to change with him. I started praying for him while booting up my computer when I am first starting my morning, and would pray for him occasionally throughout the day when I thought maybe he needed it. Instead of fearing him, I chose to have compassion. I would smile vs. frown. I went out of my way to be kind to him even if he was unkind to me. Something shifted and since then (knock on wood) things have been better.

I've been attending a bible study at work for about 2 months now and a few weeks ago I was able to share my story about grace, patience, and prayer in the workplace. People were receptive but I had no idea to what extent. I received an email yesterday morning from a girl who attended that Bible Study asking if she could set up a coffee with me and learn more about my story and if I could offer some advice. Touched, I accepted her offer and than felt a wave a warmth wash over my body. I instantly knew that God had answered my prayer.

On Wednesday, a friend from work confided in me that she was going through a rough time with her boyfriend. He suddenly decided that he needed to take a break and pretty much just shut down, shut her out and has vanished the last 2 weeks. She was crushed along with a mixture of other emotions. As she was telling me her story, it instantly brought back memories of my break up with P. Though dramas were different, the behaviors of shutting down and shutting out were the same. I comforted her the best way I knew how. I knew she didn't want to hear me bad mouth her man, or give her false hope that things will eventually work out. Instead, I just said "There is a plan and purpose in this. God has a way of taking the broken pieces and turning into something beautiful. I promise you that He will take care of you. Feel what you need to feel and trust in the healing process." As I said those words to her, I knew again that God had answered another prayer. He had just used my past broken past for something good. I was able to comfort a friend who was going through the same thing I went through a few months ago. Though my heart hurt for my friend, my heart was also thankful that something beautiful came from my bad past situation.

Last but not least, I received the following text message from E earlier this week, "I haven't told you yet today how much sunshine you have brought into my life, Thank you, Jess!." How do you not smile after reading that? I'm eager to see what God has in store for us and our friendship. He has been such a blessing to me and from the sounds of it, I have been a blessing to him as well.

I can't express how much joy, peace, happiness and bliss I now feel. I prayed for weeks to feel what I am feeling. I thank God everyday that He helps me choose happiness and I will continue to pray and strive to be a light to this world and to others. God is SO good, all the time!