I had a rough day yesterday. Even though I was smiling on the outside, I was trying to adjust my attitude and heart on the inside. Rejection is never easy to digest no matter what form it takes. You start to question what's wrong with you and that spirals into anything but positive thoughts.
After a pretty uneventful evening of watching reality whore shows and eating a DQ Blizzard for dinner (comfort food 101) I decided to go for a walk. It was a beautiful night so there were no excuses. I threw my tennis on, plugged in my iPhone tunes and off I went.
Music was playing in my head, but my thoughts still were there. I was replaying the conversation I had with E the night before and started to think about if we really were going to be able to remain friends or not. Even though I believe him when he says he wants things to remain the same, I was questioning in my mind if I would be able to emotionally handle separating my friendship feelings from my more than friendship feelings. It was an emotional tug of war. I started to make a mental list and weighing the pros and cons. I even asked God for a sign, a feeling of peace and comfort and just like that I came upon this...
A spray painted red heart in the middle of the sidewalk. I smiled and realized I was being watched over. I felt as if God was whispering in my ear asking me to relinquish my worry and just trust that He has this. So I did just that and as I continued to walk back towards my place, guess who I ran into? E. He was just finishing up a run. Double smile. Right then and there is when I realized that just because E doesn't like/love me the way I want him to, doesn't mean he can't like/love me with everything he has and is able to. He's a blessing to my life and I would much rather be his friend than nothing at all.
1 comment:
Beautifully written.
God-incidences are the best!
HE always knows what to do to lift us up.
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