15 Years

On February 13th, 1997 my life changed forever. My parents divorced after nearly 15 years of marriage. My family became a statistic. My life would never be the same. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the divorce still affects me. I think anyone who has gone through a divorce or was a child of divorce can agree that it leaves an imprint on your heart. For me, it's the invisible baggage I carry around with me. Another anchor (and quite possibly the biggest one) that is holding me back in my life.

Without going into too much detail, my parents divorce was an emotional icky mess. I consider myself lucky as I know some divorces are far more icky than what I had to endure. I was 13 years old when my parents split and 14 years old when they officially divorced. Not only was I changing physically, but I was changing mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Looking back at that little girl, I couldn't fully comprehend the complexity of what was happening. As an adult (and as someone who has experienced more than her fair share of brokenness) I STILL don't fully understand. To me, marriage is a holy sacrament. A covenant, a promise. We are human. Mistakes are made. But how do you give up on a marriage? How do you give up on your family? How do you break that promise? I still feel I am searching for God's plan and purpose and what the "Good" was and is in this situation.

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome."

I can attest to the truth of that statement. I have scars and they still hurt. Some days more than others. Today is one of those days.



This video is a bit dark, but the words pretty much sum up what a child feels (what I felt, and still feel) about divorce.

Wow... my posts that past few weeks have been very Debbie Downer. That needs to change. I promise to write something happy and light tomorrow... it is my favorite Holiday, after all.(Sarcastic eye rolling). Either way, I will post something positive. You all have my word.