The State of Wait

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so we can embrace the life that is waiting for us."

This is a tough pill for me to swallow. I have always been a planner. I have a mental check list of things I want to get done in my life by a certain point and take pride when I accomplish each goal. I have accomplished quite a bit in my life thus far but yet I still feel restless, incomplete, unfinished. It's like I am in a constant state of wait. So many dreams, wishes, desires that burn deep in my heart yet no matter how hard I try to achieve those things, I always come up short. I will get a taste of what could be only for it to be ripped away from my grasp.

Change is scary. I get myself into a routine and when that routine is interrupted I feel out of balance. However, even so... I can't continue to do the same things I am doing and expect a different result, right? I've been flirting with the idea of moving except this time it would be out of state. I'm just not happy where I am at in life and feel a change of scenery may be key to opening a new chapter of my life. A fresh start, in a new place. I have nothing holding me back except myself. The stress of my Condo is done. I am not married or have children nor am I in an exclusive relationship. My job I could easily leave and with my experience find something else. At this point, it's mostly just talk, dreaming of what could be. There is so much yet for me to figure out. But for once in my life I am not going to dismiss the desire in my heart for change. My dreams will never sleep. They will always be there whether I am in MN or somewhere else. Until I find what I am looking for (or it finds me) I will continue to seek until it is well with my soul.