It's an unpleasant realization when you see someone you knew and trusted be the exact opposite of who you thought them to be. Yesterday the truth hit the light and I know see this person exactly for who they are. Scum.
I tend to see the good in people, and dismiss and tolerate the bad. For nearly 3 years, I have done just that with someone I cared about. I was a good friend to them. Too good. They took advantage of my friendship and used it when it was convenient for them. This person can never take responsibility for their actions or behavior. They constantly blame others for what's wrong with their life. They never stop to look at themselves whenever their is conflict. They never take ownership for anything. They walk around with a "F you" attitude and constantly pointing the finger at everyone else except for themselves. They are extremely disrespectful and most of all they had a way of making me feel small, unimportant, stupid, and not worth while. Because of their constant negativity, I have become negative.
The straw the broke the camel's back was about something so ridiculous. I own up for my over reaction to it all, but their actions and total disrespect shed a light I have needed to see in this person for quite some time. It was enough for me to say "I am done with you" not only as a friend but as a person.
My heart is too big for it's own good. I'm too nice, too forgiving, too everything to everyone and I always get jerked around and crapped on. I feel sick and totally used. I don't understand how people can take advantage of others and not give a shit about it. I have learned another lesson, yet the hard way but a lesson that hopefully will never have to be learned again.
I'll be OK. Every time I'm knocked down, I get back up and I'm stronger. Mark my words, I will never, EVER let anyone jerk me around again. Friendship wise, relationship wise, work wise, life wise. What I find so ironic in this situation is this person has been the voice of reason in trying to help me navigate and find my voice. They have tried to help me stand up for myself when I am being used and abused. Little did I realize that they were the one who were using and abusing. Well in taking their advice, I am gladly cutting them out and never letting them back in. I have been jerked around for the last time.
1 comment:
When I read:
"I was a good friend to them. Too good. They took advantage of my friendship and used it when it was convenient for them. This person can never take responsibility for their actions or behavior. They constantly blame others for what's wrong with their life. They never stop to look at themselves whenever their is conflict. They never take ownership for anything."
I thought that maybe we had a mutual friend! A couple years ago I had to do this with someone I had been friends with for over a decade. I was blind for a long time, but once I saw it was impossible to ignore. I attempted to point out the ways I had been hurt only to be told it was all in my head. It made walking away from the 'friendship' much easier. I know I did all I could and I can wash my hands of it. It is best to remember the following verse...
Ecclesiastes 3:4
The time for that particular friendship has come and gone and it's time to move on to a new season of your life. He has big plans for you!
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